How Do We Write Our Own Vows?

Writing your own wedding vows is one of the most meaningful ways to personalize your ceremony. But when it comes time to put pen to paper, many couples wonder: “How do we write our own vows?” The truth is, you don’t need to be a poet to craft words that feel powerful and authentic. All you need is a little guidance, a structure to follow, and the courage to speak from the heart.

This guide will walk you through step-by-step tips for writing vows that are emotional, memorable, and completely your own.

Why Write Your Own Vows?

Personal vows let you:

• Share your love story in your own words.

• Express promises that are unique to your relationship.

• Add humor, sentiment, or tradition that feels natural to you.

• Make your ceremony unforgettable for your partner and guests.

While traditional vows are beautiful, custom vows make the moment feel deeply personal.

Step 1: Start with Reflection

Before you start writing, take time to reflect on your relationship. Ask yourself:

• What do I love most about my partner?

• How has our relationship grown over time?

• What are the little things they do that mean the world to me?

• What promises matter most to our future together?

Jot down your answers — these raw thoughts will become the foundation of your vows.

Step 2: Decide on Tone & Length

Are you aiming for heartfelt and emotional, lighthearted and funny, or a mix of both? Keeping your tone consistent with your personality makes the vows feel natural.

As for length, most vows are about 1–2 minutes long when read aloud. That usually comes out to about 200–300 words.

Step 3: Use a Simple Structure

Here’s an easy vow-writing formula to follow:

1. Start with your story — share how you met or what you love about your partner.

2. Express your love — highlight what makes your relationship special.

3. Make promises — big and small (faithfulness, laughter, supporting each other’s dreams).

4. Look ahead — share hopes for your future together.

5. End with a heartfelt closing line — something memorable your partner will always cherish.

Step 4: Add Personal Details

The best vows include specific details only the two of you share. Maybe it’s an inside joke, a funny habit, or a moment you’ll never forget. Personal touches make your vows unique and keep them from sounding generic.

Step 5: Practice Out Loud

Reading your vows aloud helps with pacing and confidence. Practice a few times to smooth out wording and ensure your vows feel natural when spoken.

💡 Pro Tip: Print your vows or write them neatly on a card so you don’t have to rely on memory during the ceremony.

Common Questions About Writing Vows

Do our vows need to match in style or length?

Not exactly, but it’s helpful to agree on a general tone and word count so one person doesn’t end up with a two-minute speech while the other says two sentences.

Can we include humor in our vows?

Absolutely! Inside jokes and lighthearted promises (like “I promise to always share my fries”) make your vows personal and memorable.

Should we share our vows with each other before the ceremony?

Some couples prefer to keep vows a surprise, while others exchange drafts to keep the tone balanced. It’s completely up to you.

Examples of Vow Promises to Inspire You

• “I promise to stand by you in sunshine and in storms.”

• “I vow to support your dreams as if they were my own.”

• “I promise to love you fiercely, laugh with you daily, and grow with you always.”

• “I vow to be your partner, your cheerleader, and your safe place forever.”

Final Thoughts: Writing Vows You’ll Treasure Forever

So, how do you write your own vows? By reflecting on your relationship, choosing a tone, adding personal details, and following a simple structure. Remember, your vows don’t have to be perfect — they just have to be genuine.

At the end of the day, it’s not about fancy words but the love behind them. Speak from your heart, and your vows will be unforgettable.

💡 Planning tip: If you’re writing your vows, consider doing a private vow exchange during your wedding photos. As a wedding photographer, I can tell you these quiet, intimate moments often become some of the most meaningful images of the day.

I’m Lauren Taylor, a Tallahassee & North Florida wedding photographer passionate about capturing genuine, timeless moments for couples in love. From coastal celebrations to countryside vows, my approach is warm, professional, and storytelling-focused. If you’re planning your own wedding, I’d love to help document your day with images you’ll treasure for a lifetime. Let’s connect here!